Makes you sure of who your friends are, though

I doubt the school system took one look at me and decided, "bound to be a loner." No. Probably thought I'd be a sure bet for the cheer team, or had I better direction, just joined the math club. But again, no.

I'm not sure who I thought I was all of those years, pretending to be Latina, doing too much acid, and maintaining some semblance of hope. Sticking up for the geeks, being master of too many tests with easily filled-in bubbles.

Mostly, just my parent's daughter, so. Never wrote a shred of poetry, only cut my arm once (trying to understand a fellow "cutter's" goal). Didn't try out for plays, watched tv after school, slowly lost my soul.

On the last day of school, I remember that clearly. Finally, out into the world, nothing except a job at TJ Maxx holding me back... And then set to reunite with my birth sister, you know.

It's where all my "problems" began. What are they again, here, let me find the list. No courage, unable to accept the cards dealt, lost or searching always, oh, and having to be convinced all the time. Oh.

I've always known my core issue, and the years and years and more years wasted trying to "overcome" and achieve that final goal. It was the two of them turned against me...women, you know.

And I knew, and know to this day...that every trial I walk through, every shred of peace inside of me that needs acceptance...has to do with accepting women as they are. People as they are, even when "banded" against, or even for, me.

So just so we are all clear about my issues. I KNOW.