What I am looking at

I've always told Chicken and Cheese, I don't want to leave this town until I love it with all my heart. I want to feel I've accomplished everything I'm meant to, that all of my friends are worth dying for, that my children have soaked up every last inkling of what it means to be a Grand Forksian.

I've never joined a church here in this community, and I don't plan to. I wasn't raised to love that aspect of life and I turned out just fine. When I came here, as some of you know, it was to reunite with my lost birth sister. And I did, and we did, and I'm thankful. But for some reason or another, maybe it's entirely my own fault...I've never really felt lassoed in.

I worked at the Urban for five years before the flood came and knocked the breath out of all of us. During all that time, I waited for the settling in to occur, for the stories that were swirling around me to become my own. I'm a city girl, and I still remember what that feels like, it's a much faster pace, let me tell you. But like all humans on this planet, a home is all I've ever been seeking...one that can be trusted to stand still when I've decided to enter.

I've been broken, tested, and reunited with my spirit...at least I'm hoping you all have felt that like I have. I've done it without a church, and most of the time without a family. Having children has taught me, without a sliver of a doubt, that it is the responsibility of the community to embrace and raise the child, but also to keep that child's light burning. And that includes the child that still exists in every adult.

When I joined Gamma Phi Beta, I embraced every significance of every ritual, yet still felt my sisters lacked understanding. This is sacred, I'd think...the candles, the circles, the rites. The blindfolds, trips into the dark night as part of initiation, and even the secret handshakes. We were neophytes, and I desperately wanted that new beginning. It's never ended for me.

My mother was in a sorority, my aunt...the glue that binds women together needs so much reinventing. I will go on and on, eventually, such an important topic community is. So desperately needed for our children. I'll say one thing though, for all who've witnessed the past few days, the giant leap of transformation I am claiming...

I trust my elders every step of the way.